I am a Hot Momma, YUK!

WARNING, IF YOU ARE A MAN, YOU PROBABLY WANT TO SKIP THIS POST!!!!!!!

Ok, now that they are out of here, I have to confess, I have had my first hotflashes. I am not one bit happy about it, nope, no way, nadda. But what can I do? Nothing. This is how it happened. At dinner Sat. night, I had just sat down at our dinner table. My hubby was there along with my sister in law Lora and brother in law Scott. As soon as I sat at my seat with my meal, I felt a bit nauseous, then a very warm wave came over me, from my neck to my ears, it was so weird, I lost my appetite, didn't even eat my dinner. I sat there, and I explained what had just happened. Scott, looked at me, in between taking bites of his dinner and said, "it's a hot flash". Just plain as day. I sat there stunned. And then Lora looked at me and shook her head in agreement. I must have had a look of disbelief on my face because Scott said it again, and he elaborated that I needed to trust him because he works with alot of women and they talk about it all the time, and he also lives with Lora who just had a hysterectomy in August. I have to admit I was a bit relieved that my symptoms were "normal" and not the flu again. I had an episode the night before (Friday) and I felt absolutely exhausted afterwards, I was sick to my stomach and could not hardly walk up the stairs to go to bed. I have had a few episodes like this lately, so much so that I actually took a pregnancy test. If you know me, you know that this is almost a joke. It was just a way to rule out the obvious. My whole life I have been extremely irregular if you know what I mean. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism while pregnant with Dayton. My life before Dayton was one where I never had to watch what I ate in order to stay thin, I was always very thin and tiny. Not so much anymore. My energy levels are always low even though I have taken a tiny pill of hormones every day of my life since being diagnosed 13 years ago. I have a hormone imbalance as well. I really don't ever dwell on those two issues, I deal with them and now that I have 2 children to love in my life, I don't worry about them. So why is this bothering me so much? I have dealt with hormone issues my whole life. I was reading on the internet today about hotflashes and menopause. I need to get to my doctor, I know. But many things I read tonight involved alot of my health issues and the term premature menopause kept coming up. If this IS the case, it explains alot. Last year my cycles were very heavy, and for a long duration, this year, not so much, quite the opposite. That too is something that I have always dealt with. But now that the mood swings, hotflashes, and tiredness come into play, I have to believe my body is changing. I am 37 years old, but I feel really young, I dont' feel like I am ready for all of this yet. Especially right now, with all of the stress I have been under with taking care of my family and their illnesses. Maybe that is triggering this, I don't know. If anyone has any tips on going through this I would appreciate it. I have seen my body changing so much lately, my hair is thinning, my nails are brittle, my skin is so itchy and dry the only thing that helps in Gold Bond Medicated Lotion, isn't that sexy! I also have hairs growing out of my chin, I told Mark if something ever happens to me please make sure you shave my beard for me! Ha ha! I also have terrible back troubles, and always have since I was young. Carrying around Myah is so difficult for me. My hair is so gray anymore, I have to color it regularly. Maybe the writing has been on the wall that I would age prematurely, I have always looked forward to growing old with Mark and baking cookies for our little grandbabies, it has never bothered me. Until now. Somehow I feel like I am getting jipped out of my prime. Or maybe it is better to get it over with, I am not sure. I have dealt with horrible cycles for so long, maybe this is God's way of helping me get on with life, now that we aren't going to have any more children. It is just so overwhelming to read about this subject, there is so much confusion and controversy, how do you know what is right for you, how do you keep your sanity throughout it?

I know that this is probably way more information than you ever wanted to know about me but I figured that this was a place where my friends could offer me advice, I am sure I am not the only one going through this. My sister had a hysterectomy when she was 29 years old! I am aware of all that she went through and how difficult it is. I am praying that I won't need anything like that done but I also pray that this won't drag on forever either. I feel bad that my moods can be so up and down lately, especially for my family, I don't want my children to see me like this and have this be the mommy that they remember later in life. I was voted most friendly in high school for crying out loud, I am a nice person darn it! Where is that girl?

Well, I will find her again someday, until then, I will just find a nice little personal misting fan to carry around to all of Dayton's baseball games this summer. Oh gosh, I can't even imagine if these hit while at a super hot game! Like I said I am one hot momma!