Happy New Year!!!

From our family to yours, I pray you all have a wonderful new year !!! We have some huge changes coming around here, I am looking forward to a fresh new year to work with !!!  2010 surely had its challenges!  We had a very nice Christmas and have had lots of company this week, I love that the most about the holidays, catching up with family and friends.  Here is to a wonderful 2011!!!

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

 Our official christmas card photo, my teenager does not want to participate this year, not worth the battle!  So little Myah agreed on the first snowy day to oblige mommy in a few photos. 

 I had found the snowy crown in Wisconsin last month and knew it would be perfect for photos with her dark hair. 

 Walking in our neighborhood.

 This cracks me up!

Thank you and Holiday Decorating

I cannot begin to say what I feel in my heart today, after reading your sweet, encouraging comments, I surely felt loved, I have been so blessed in so many ways, but never did I realize how much support my bloggy friends could provide me with.  I read every word, and felt every virtual hug that you sent, you are all amazing and I wish that I could send a hug back to you all, thank you, thank you, thank you.  We are doing better, we have a "new normal" around here, we still feel pretty raw and vunerable but we are doing our best to move forward. I was so touched by your stories, it was very difficult to put myself out there and I apreciate all of your honesty and your bravery, I truly drew strength from YOU!!  God Bless you all!!

I am trying so hard to make this a special holiday for my little family.  We went and cut down our own tree, a tradition we started last year and one that we will have forever.  I have kept things very simple this year, I just have not had the energy or creative thoughts this year to do much more.  I found the cute banners at Pottery Barn and knew that was going to be my focal point, simple and easy.  I hung some greens in the house, set up our Willow Tree nativity set and purchased a few driftwood reindeer.  Wa-la, decorating is done.  Christmas cards are not even began, cookies have been baked and already consumed (thanks Grandma),the kids get out of school next week and I have not even finished shopping.  Oh well.  This past weekend we attended the drive through story of Jesus and the Glory of Christmas at a local church, two events that truly get us in the Christmas spirit and helps focus our attention on the real reason we have to celebrate this time of year. 

I am still taking things day to day, somedays I feel very strong, other days, not so much, but I am moving on, focusing on the positives in life and not the negatives, excited about the future and putting the past behind us. I will get back to my happy little self again, I am determined!!!  What a better time than Christmas to start anew. 

Finding Peace

I am making myself write this post.  I need to move on. I am searching for peace inside of me.  I am going to be pretty real here so be prepared.  A few weeks ago my depression started to rear its ugly head again, I have heard that after a year certain drugs "poop out" and you need a boost.  Well, that is where I was, at about a year after my meltdown of 2009, after losing my Dad, father in law, and Grandma, I was a mess.  Then all was good again thanks to my Dr's.  Until a few weeks ago.  I could feel it coming on.  So I took action, asked for help and started feeling like myself almost immediately again.  I had a fear of being alone, the thought of it was putting me over the edge,  so, my mother in law and my mom have came to my rescue, I have not been alone since.  On days when hubby works, they are here with me.  I am so grateful!!!  On a Friday I was seen by my Dr, I had to beg her to over book me because I said I did not want to wait until Monday.  Intuition I guess.  Because ironically, on Monday my mom and I were out shopping, hubs was off and had made a quick trip to lunch with us, came home and found our house was broken into.  It kills me to even write that.  So much has been taken, not so much possessions but our sense of security and protection.  I don't want to get into the details on here, I am really having a hard time putting this stuff out there for the world to see.  My home does not feel like ours anymore, we are scared, nervous, pit in my stomach all the time kind of emotions.  My hubby is a police officer, we try to be safe and secure, it did not matter. 
I am trying to make this feel like our home again and not like it has been violated.  We put our tree up the other day, something is just missing.  I am praying that I we will feel a sense of peace again, we loved our home, our neighbors etc.  It just feels like a place to house all of our things now.  This is the time of year that I should be decorating, making everything pretty and warm.  I am trying, I will not let them win, I am so thankful that I went on stronger meds, I do not know how I would have gotten through this without them.  I do not like to take meds but I know when I am not myself and I do not want to be that person for my family.  This has been another diffucult year for us, with Dayton's surgeries, mom's cancer and now this. A month from today will be 2011, I am ready to put this year behind us.  The snow is flying today for the first time, giving everything a beautiful white coating, making things look clean and pure.  I need a fresh start. 
Please pray for me and my family, that we can feel comfortable in our own home again.

Autumn Nesting

 The temperatures are falling, the leaves are gone, the geese are flying south, and I am in the nesting mode.  What is it about this time of year that just makes you want to cozy up the place?  Hmmm, maybe the fact that I actually saw snowflakes last week?  I have been fussing around the house a bit lately, trying to find new places for things I love and sadly, trying to get rid of some of my more vintagey pieces.  Seems everyone in my house breathes better when old musty things are not in our environment, sigh..... so I am trying to unload a few pieces on Craigslist (not yet, but soon),  but I am keeping a few of my favorite pieces like this huge tobacco basket that I recently relocated to our dining room.  I have a desire (once again) to simplify and reduce, so I am slowly going through the house and making some changes and moving things around.  Nesting is what I call it. 

 I snapped a few photos the other night (before daylight savings) while the gorgeous autumn sun was streaming through the house, it gave everything such a golden hue.  I have changed the foyer a bit by grouping mirrors from around the house.  It is kind of a small area, I love how the mirrors reflect the light. 

 I added Myah's little toy box that Uncle Charlie made and set the pillows that Mel made for me on top of it, giving us a space to sit and put our shoes on. 

 I love this sweet little cedar topiary, I snatched it up at a garage sale this summer for $2.  I put a little spanish moss on top ( I use that stuff all the time!)

 I also repurposed a frame and found a free printable on line of the vintage starfish. I am really trying to stick with very neutral colors lately, whites, blacks and taupes, so soothing.   The smaller picture came from the ladies at Violets Blue, it went perfectly with my starfish picture in the kitchen.  Am I the only one who hangs larger pictures above smaller ones, I just like that look, maybe I am weird or something!

 My summer of great garage sales landed me these gorgeous white pitchers,  decorating on a dime for sure!  I lined them up tallest to shortest on top of my kitchen cabinets.

 And I cleaned out my kitchen cupboards, seems like everything just got shoved in here over the summer, it was time for a good scrubbing and relocating.  This is the before:

 And the after: Much better, now I even have room for my cookbooks.  I love that I inherited the same cookbook from both of my grandmothers.  See the hot cocoa,. part of my warming up plan around here, from the inside out!!!

 I love having a sparkling kitchen, I am obsessed with keeping things clean and organized in there, it is a small space with not alot of storage at all so keeping it tidy is key.  Last year when my Grandmother passed away she left each of us grandkids a little $$, we just so happened to need a new sink, faucet and disposal so that is where our money went.  Grandma always did the dishes or had a sink full of water soaking them, it so reminds me of her whenever I use it. I had a hard time keeping it sparkling, it is cast iron and I was afraid it was getting ruined.  And then I discovered (scroll down)

 This, and it brought my sink back to her pretty young self again!  I had to find it online but it is so worth it!

 And I am determined to broaden my menu around her, my sweetie bought this for me the other day, maybe he is sick of the menu too!  I love her books and this one is awesome, I can't wait to try her recipes!

I have been so crazy busy lately, taking photos, editing photos, shift changes for hubby, dr appts for the family etc. etc.  that I forgot to post a photo of my little Tinkerbell on Halloween, she was so stinkin cute in her little platinum blonde wig!   We had so much fun around here!!  I am so not ready for the holidays to be here, I am trying to get motivated, I am keeping things very simple this year, we are focusing on our many blessings and just taking in all the wonder of the season.  It has been an exhausting, dramatic year, I am hoping that these last few months of 2010 will give us the opportunity to spend some special time with great family and friends. 

The Old Country Church

Ever since I can remember I have had  a love of old churches and cemetaries. The other day I was driving to a photo shoot for a very special family and I took the back roads.  On the way there I passed this church, I have seen it several times and each time I think I need to stop and take a few photos but I am usually in the car with my family who is anxious to get back home.  Not this day though, I was alone.  I had just left my friends home when I passed this church again, this time I stopped. No one was around.  The sun was so warm and bright, it just lit up the gorgeous oak trees like someone had turned on a switch. 

On the church grounds there is a small old cemetary.  My grandparents lived across the street from a cemetary and I grew up riding bikes and taking walks through there (they now rest there themselves), so I have never been afraid of cemetaries, I find them peaceful actually. 

I took this photo through the window, the sun was shining so pretty through the curtains, making them almost transparent. 

When I was a little girl my Dad used to turn on "The Old Country Church " and sing it with us, it was one of his favorite gospel songs.  This little church brought back so many warm memories, I am so thankful that I finally took the time to stop. 

The Time Has Come....

 Using some actions that I purchased ages ago. I finally figured out how to use them!

 I bought this gorgeous sweater for her two years ago, she finally fits into it!  It is a size 2, I think not!!!

 She loves wearing glasses that aren't hers. She does not need them, she just wanted them for the photo!

 These were taken in my garage with my backdrop I just ran a little sharpening on it.

 I have wanted to take a photo of her in this outfit before she outgrows it!  This is sooc.

 This is sooc too!

 I had to recreate this photo that I first saw on Sara Anthony's site.

No editing done on this one either. 

Now that my children are in school full time I am finally diving into my photography.  I have all of the equipment, software, etc, that I need, actually I am over my head in things I don't know how to use.  For the past 4 years I have had some sort of family crisis's to deal with and I never felt creative enough.  People would call me for an appointment and I always felt like I just wasn't good enough.  Ever since I turned 40 I decided to find myself, discover my talents and gifts, whatever they may be.  I love to take photos and I have since I was a little girl, however I know very little about the whole process.  I just have and eye and that is just about it.  Yesterday I decided that I was going to get out my camera and a few lenses, use the pretty backdrops that I have, bribe my beautiful little girl with candy so she will model for me, and just DO it!!! I have so much to learn, my head just spins, but I just love taking photos and that is what motivates me to better my self. I have been taking photos for customers lately and wanted some of my own little doll before her baby teeth fall out and she outgrows my favorite sweaters.   I thought I would share just a few that I took yesterday, I made myself shoot in manual and RAW all day, some habits are really hard to break!  I know I have a long ways to go!! But I enjoy doing it so that is all that matters right??