Happy New Year!!!

From our family to yours, I pray you all have a wonderful new year !!! We have some huge changes coming around here, I am looking forward to a fresh new year to work with !!!  2010 surely had its challenges!  We had a very nice Christmas and have had lots of company this week, I love that the most about the holidays, catching up with family and friends.  Here is to a wonderful 2011!!!

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

 Our official christmas card photo, my teenager does not want to participate this year, not worth the battle!  So little Myah agreed on the first snowy day to oblige mommy in a few photos. 

 I had found the snowy crown in Wisconsin last month and knew it would be perfect for photos with her dark hair. 

 Walking in our neighborhood.

 This cracks me up!

Thank you and Holiday Decorating

I cannot begin to say what I feel in my heart today, after reading your sweet, encouraging comments, I surely felt loved, I have been so blessed in so many ways, but never did I realize how much support my bloggy friends could provide me with.  I read every word, and felt every virtual hug that you sent, you are all amazing and I wish that I could send a hug back to you all, thank you, thank you, thank you.  We are doing better, we have a "new normal" around here, we still feel pretty raw and vunerable but we are doing our best to move forward. I was so touched by your stories, it was very difficult to put myself out there and I apreciate all of your honesty and your bravery, I truly drew strength from YOU!!  God Bless you all!!

I am trying so hard to make this a special holiday for my little family.  We went and cut down our own tree, a tradition we started last year and one that we will have forever.  I have kept things very simple this year, I just have not had the energy or creative thoughts this year to do much more.  I found the cute banners at Pottery Barn and knew that was going to be my focal point, simple and easy.  I hung some greens in the house, set up our Willow Tree nativity set and purchased a few driftwood reindeer.  Wa-la, decorating is done.  Christmas cards are not even began, cookies have been baked and already consumed (thanks Grandma),the kids get out of school next week and I have not even finished shopping.  Oh well.  This past weekend we attended the drive through story of Jesus and the Glory of Christmas at a local church, two events that truly get us in the Christmas spirit and helps focus our attention on the real reason we have to celebrate this time of year. 

I am still taking things day to day, somedays I feel very strong, other days, not so much, but I am moving on, focusing on the positives in life and not the negatives, excited about the future and putting the past behind us. I will get back to my happy little self again, I am determined!!!  What a better time than Christmas to start anew. 

Finding Peace

I am making myself write this post.  I need to move on. I am searching for peace inside of me.  I am going to be pretty real here so be prepared.  A few weeks ago my depression started to rear its ugly head again, I have heard that after a year certain drugs "poop out" and you need a boost.  Well, that is where I was, at about a year after my meltdown of 2009, after losing my Dad, father in law, and Grandma, I was a mess.  Then all was good again thanks to my Dr's.  Until a few weeks ago.  I could feel it coming on.  So I took action, asked for help and started feeling like myself almost immediately again.  I had a fear of being alone, the thought of it was putting me over the edge,  so, my mother in law and my mom have came to my rescue, I have not been alone since.  On days when hubby works, they are here with me.  I am so grateful!!!  On a Friday I was seen by my Dr, I had to beg her to over book me because I said I did not want to wait until Monday.  Intuition I guess.  Because ironically, on Monday my mom and I were out shopping, hubs was off and had made a quick trip to lunch with us, came home and found our house was broken into.  It kills me to even write that.  So much has been taken, not so much possessions but our sense of security and protection.  I don't want to get into the details on here, I am really having a hard time putting this stuff out there for the world to see.  My home does not feel like ours anymore, we are scared, nervous, pit in my stomach all the time kind of emotions.  My hubby is a police officer, we try to be safe and secure, it did not matter. 
I am trying to make this feel like our home again and not like it has been violated.  We put our tree up the other day, something is just missing.  I am praying that I we will feel a sense of peace again, we loved our home, our neighbors etc.  It just feels like a place to house all of our things now.  This is the time of year that I should be decorating, making everything pretty and warm.  I am trying, I will not let them win, I am so thankful that I went on stronger meds, I do not know how I would have gotten through this without them.  I do not like to take meds but I know when I am not myself and I do not want to be that person for my family.  This has been another diffucult year for us, with Dayton's surgeries, mom's cancer and now this. A month from today will be 2011, I am ready to put this year behind us.  The snow is flying today for the first time, giving everything a beautiful white coating, making things look clean and pure.  I need a fresh start. 
Please pray for me and my family, that we can feel comfortable in our own home again.